Laura I feel this SO much!!! Thank you for saying what so many of us are feeling!!! I’ve been stumbling along for like 18 months now in this feeling and my burnout only slightly recovered before returning again (though not as strong as prior)…learning to do things our way, using our own intuitive guidance and knowing what is best for ourselves and our family is the only way I see possible..having to say screw it to the rest and it will be what it is for each season of motherhood!
Sophie is so fantastic, isn't she! Yes that stumbling along feeling will resonate with so many, I'm sure. Love your comment and hope you write more about it xx
The hustle/ patriarchal view on business doesn’t nourish mothers. I feel like this is where intuitive business has a role as it melts around us and can be mothercentric
Totally agree and then of course there is also looking good, keeping fit, being a good friend, doing crafts with your kids, cooking healthy food....
I thought I'd have more time when my kids started at school but now by oldest isn't able to go to school due to anxiety so my work schedule has shifted again...
I feel this all of this!! So much pressure— (I blame social media honestly for a lot of that lol)…. and yes even with kids in school there are things that come up and we need to pivot from what we had planned! I am
Personally learning that’s all I can do, is attempt to flow with the circumstances around me.. I tend to fight against and it causes none of us good..
I think there needs to be a huge acknowledgement from the creators of social media around the harm that it can cause, the studies coming out around children/teens are alarming, as are the reports of much more available data supporting this that is being covered up. Maybe then there is a way to learn from this and build on the good that social media brings that Laura so rightly mentions, however I am fearful that money driven society is going to struggle to make the needed shift.
It sometimes feels like just when you think you have carved our that extra time something comes along and snatches it away again, I am certainly feeling that at the moment.
Oooooof feeling the fire in this one lovely! Thank you for mentioning me alongside other incredible women... I love that you are raising this topic as an perspective on all of this. Because it’s so complex and yet the narratives we are sold or told can be so dehumanising and make us feel like a failure. Celebrating you and every other Mother who is following their heart work alongside children of any age, in whatever way they can. Xxx
Yes it’s that depersonalisation and dehumanisation of it you’re absolutely spot on. And yes, let’s also celebrate the magic women who are just trying their best and let’s shout for more support! And now time for a shower 😂 xxx
Corrrrrr this one has rung very true. I admire creators and creatives who are open and honest about how much support they do or don’t have, because it’s so easy to think ‘HOW are they managing to do all this and also be a present parent??’ My partner and I were speaking about work recently and the fact that it isn’t possible for the majority of people (us included) to run a house on one income, yet--usually mothers--are the ones who are expected to do the juggling of house/children/work. I don’t say ‘expected’ to imply that men expect it, but the government certainly does. Le sigh.
the government definitely does. And even when we get 15 free hours when my toddler turns too because I insist on paying our nanny £14 an hour it will cover about 5 "free" hours I think... but yes, we need to keep talking VERY LOUDLY about this I think xx
Hey Laura, gosh you sound so much like me and the conversations I have with biz pals and clients! I love this post, I can feel the energy coursing through it!
I’m absolutely sick of anyone telling anyone else HOW to live their lives, set up their business, how to juggle and especially doing this without DEEPLY knowing that individual - we are all so unique, so are our children, and when we learn how to trust ourselves, instead of the ‘experts’, it all gets sooooo much easier.
OK, I’ll talk about having older kids...
So, I’m mum to an 18 year old, and I’ve had a business of my own since he was about 5, back then alongside a full time job... I was doing it to ‘prove’ myself, but I also LOVED it so much, it sucked me in, and I know there were plenty times he didn’t get my full attention BUT he was, and still is, super chilled and happy doing his own thing (I recently found out he’s designed like this, thank goodness!) and I also didn’t push him into all the after-school clubs and hobbies that he didn’t want to do anyway; I saw a lot of this in the mums around me; in his friendship group it was the mums who chose how busy their kids (and therefore the taxi schedule) should be. I’m not judging, its just what I saw.
As he’s got older he’s learned what it looks like to ‘work from home’ - ie I’m not ignoring him, I’m at work - and we talk a lot about what ‘work’ can look like, especially passive income as he’s not an energy-type like me. So I do have a strong focus on work, but when we’re together I’m all in, with him, and I focus on him if he wants to talk between calls or after work, just as if I had a job, because he doesn’t often come to talk to me much, but when he does it’s brilliant. Since he was quite small I’ve been clear I can’t be there with him all the time - but I always worked school hours only in my ‘job’ and have always dropped everything when he’s been needed me or been poorly, telling him and showing him that he comes first in my heart.
So maybe I’m just lucky, or maybe I’ve been trusting what he needs at each age - have I got it all right? Definitely not. I wish I’d trained earlier as a coach and learned all the behaviours / developmental stuff when he was younger... but I still wouldn’t change very much. What I HAVE focused on each year is ‘what does he need from me at this age, and what do I need from him?’ as well as “what do I need, and what does my business need?” - acceptance of time and energy limitations has been key, and it’s been ever-evolving, including boundaries, now they focus on when I can be a taxi driver and when I won’t (and how quickly he has to pass his driving test now he’s working!), what he has to contribute to the smooth running of the house, and how he affects and is part of the family dynamic.
One thing I do know, is that it’s joyful seeing him at 18, confident enough to go travelling for weeks without me (he’s in Rome just now) but flipping heck, it’s only been about 5 minutes since he was eight years old snuggled up on my knee.... it goes fast. I’ll always have my business right here in my home, to grow slowly or fast, or change altogether, but I know I can’t say that of my precious boy...
That was longer than I expected, wasn’t quite sure where I was going and got a bit lost in remembering... phew! xx
Sarah this is such a beautiful, profound comment. You should copy and paste a lot of it and turn it into a post for SURE!!! I love this bit: "As he’s got older he’s learned what it looks like to ‘work from home’ - ie I’m not ignoring him, I’m at work - and we talk a lot about what ‘work’ can look like, especially passive income as he’s not an energy-type like me. So I do have a strong focus on work, but when we’re together I’m all in, with him, and I focus on him if he wants to talk between calls or after work, just as if I had a job, because he doesn’t often come to talk to me much, but when he does it’s brilliant."
Aw thank you love, gosh I didn't realise how much I'd written as I was on my phone, just at my laptop now and thinking, wow, I had a lot to say!
I think it's a brilliant subject and not one with just one answer, so lots of voices, ideas and encouragement to experiment is what we need, for us, and for so many other mums too, wondering how to get it 'right' (there is no right) - love that you opened this conversation! xxx
I love this Sarah and like Laura I love the part where you talk about the moments with your son where you are 'all in' this is something that I encourage with many of th families I support, finding those moments where you can be all in , to properly refill their mummy tank and feel taken into consideration no mater how busy life is around that. It can be such a powerful took for connection and replenishing.
Wow, yes when we use parenting as a real present-moment thing it's powerful. We just don't get that time back! Skimming the surface of it is almost always going to lead to regret... I would definitely be even more 'all in' if I went back, less distracted and more appreciative of the time with him. And I'd still work and give him the experience of socialising, and learning to thrive for himself, as well as loving our time together.
Its so important for mothers to see conversations like this, they often act as a reminder of things that we already know an prompt us to reassess and look at ways to be more present once again, however society and life has a way of slowing tugging us away again so the more little reminders there are the better!
I'm exhausted. This season of my life is impossible. Each 'thing' I do is a job in itself - parenting, cleaning, cooking, life admin, house repairs and working. It is why we have cleaners, VA's and tradespeople to do these things. We're not supposed to do EVERYTHING on our own. But, for various reasons, we do. There is no one else for us (my husband and I) to lean on, it literally is just us, and we're doing the best we can with the time, money and energy we have.
In an ideal world, I'd have the childcare I need. I'd be able to work uninterrupted on those days, and then spend my days off being a parent to William. The systems are so broken though, and I don't have it as bad some, I know that. But, my goodness, it is tough right now.
Thank you for not running for the hills when I ghosted you and tried to 'fix' things on my own. If my post has taught me anything, is that I need to reach out more. I need the support. I can't get it physically, but I have it in abundance virtually. You're such a treasure, and I'm so incredibly lucky to have you in my corner 🥰
I have a long history of struggling with these impetuous messages about building a successful business in the margins of motherhood (since 2010 honestly). They have often made me feel inferior and have fed into my own burn out and ranting negative self talk.
So I appreciate and applaud you for calling it out in the way you have. We definitely need more realistic examples and expectations of what is possible during various seasons and scenarios of motherhood and entrepreneurship.
I’ve gone through several semi-successful seasons of entrepreneurship while attempting a variety of different businesses during motherhood - all while primarily staying home to raise my two kids. I was a freelance muralist, photographer, graphic designer, website designer, interior designer, product designer, blogger, and writer. And I almost became a holistic design course creator and author - but I became too overwhelmed to follow through with that plan while also helping my husband build a multi-six figure electrical contracting company.
Building my own business has been slow, difficult, and harder than I ever imagined, however. And I still can’t say that I’ve actually been successful at it. Or that I even know what kind of business I want any more!
I can say I have successfully grown two amazing kids, though! (ages 17 and 25) And I have thoroughly enjoyed every moment of their growth and development! I’ve also had to do this with very limited support (because I don’t have much family and my husband is always gone working).
So I became everyone’s #1 support system and have had next to no one in my corner offering support. It’s made business growth slow and confusing as I struggle to manage my energy and capacity for creative work.
Now that my kids are mostly grown I know my time is becoming more of my own for the first time ever. But I unexpectedly fell into a liminal season of mourning what is changing as I explore who I’m becoming and whether or not there will be a different business in my future.
What I will say - I’m glad I didn’t grow my past businesses into such a success that it would have distracted me from my children. Yes, I was impatient and had big dreams - but I was never willing to trade my ability to be present for my kids in exchange for the dreams I thought I wanted. Because I was highly aware of my time with them being temporary.
I really wish there were more stories of trial and error attempts/ slow growth/ and later in life women/mother entrepreneurs trying to figure it out. (Maybe this is what I need to write about more on my own Substack?) Because I just couldn’t do it all when I was in that phase of young motherhood. Now, after 25 years of mothering, I find I have some deep healing to do to recoup my energy and confidence before I’m ready to try entrepreneurship again.
Um, you absolutely do need to write about this on your Substack (if you'd like to, Darcey). I've read it about three times and I love it! This had me nodding a LOT "So I became everyone’s #1 support system and have had next to no one in my corner offering support. It’s made business growth slow and confusing as I struggle to manage my energy and capacity for creative work."xx
Thank you Laura for saying all of this and speaking to so much of what I am feeling, often a failure for being slow to create the career I both aspire to have (and one I feel the societal pressure to have) whilst being so consumed by early motherhood and being ‘just’ a mum (who also writes and creates in any space I get!) Thank you for the support and reassurance about the slow-forming, feeling it out way of creating business. Your words are fire that have inspired a shift in my view from here xx
urgh and sometimes isn't it so hard to hear if the inner whisper wants that career because YOU want it or because you feel you SHOULD have it. Also, that final sentence, can I quote you please because it made me feel very proud of myself!! xx
Such important work. The words, the invitation, the way of being embodied in all of this. Beautiful words Laura and I’m just so glad we have Company of Two together - our slow grow community for mothers who want to figure it all out too, alongside us, with us and for us. ✨💖✨
Great article Laura and thanks for the mention ❤️ it’s saddening the pressures and unrealistic expectations that are put on mothers - and couldn’t agree more with how incredibly toxic the “quick fix big bucks” speech is!
I just saw your comment around passive income on a note and thought I’d add my reflections here instead as more might find value : I love these conversations as they open for questions that we may not have thought about before. Different businesses lend themselves well to different structures, I’m fortunate that I’ve been able to create a split between products and services, where services are very difficult to “passify” soulfully (I absolutely agree with you Laura ❤️❤️) whereas digital products (in my case pattern downloads for embroidery designs, which my clients don’t want me to be involved in anyhow!) naturally grow into a passive archive if the marketing structures are set up well (read: long term shelf life such as Pinterest boards and email marketing).
Another example (relevant for this space) is book sales/royalties.
Now I don’t believe there’s anything that is truly passive because you have to do the job at some point up front - but if we are able to create a healthy balance between long term effort and short term effort, perhaps it can create more stability for the seasons when life simply won’t allow you to work. I’ve had many 2 hrs work/weeks in the past 2 years (just enough for admin mostly) and my revenue has remained relatively stable.
There’s no quick or easy fix for anything in life, and the fact that mothers are pushed to believe so in the most trying times is beyond comprehension!!
Fantastic work Laura and I salute you for the important work you do in this space ❤️👏🥰 grateful to have connected! xx
Laura this is so beautifully written and I know that you know how much it resonates with what I stand for as a parent and a professional. When did society forget that mothers are doing this most precious work, need to be championed, celebrated, supported and cherished. How can we possibly raise generations of kind, empathetic, compassionate, curious, adventurious, human beings if mothers are constantly on the edge of burn out and battling with 'not good enough' feelings. Something has to give... However here we are, a group of mothers (at least it seems those commenting on the post) doing just that, striving to raise our children to be all of these things in spite of the huge pressures that we are under, in spite of never feeling enough. Maybe we can , for a moment, creep into our children's bedroom (big or small) whislt they are sleeping soundly and revel in what an amazing job we are doing. And be grateful that people like yourself Laura are championing us and calling for change.. you are very much appreciated. xx
My children are 13 and 15 and I don't often see stuff about mothers in business who have children this age and the themes are different. I still very much work a day job as I've never managed to grow my business enough as a mother. I found it too hard when they were younger and so now feels like my time to grow at last. Yes I do have more space but I'm also much more aware of how little time left of their childhood there is. That's where the mother guilt creeps in
LOVE THIS 🙌 As a new mama trying to work this whole thing out, I really appreciate your gracious approach and the space you make for those of us not getting it all done, not ok with it, but not able to change it right now. I’m learning that I just can’t get it all done and that’s ok: my laundry basket may never be empty and my house never totally clean (part of the one room a day crew!), but that gives me time to write and spend with my little boy 🥰 and for me, those are my priorities right now 🥰
Laura I feel this SO much!!! Thank you for saying what so many of us are feeling!!! I’ve been stumbling along for like 18 months now in this feeling and my burnout only slightly recovered before returning again (though not as strong as prior)…learning to do things our way, using our own intuitive guidance and knowing what is best for ourselves and our family is the only way I see possible..having to say screw it to the rest and it will be what it is for each season of motherhood!
And absolutely loved Sophie’s post too! 🤍
Sophie is so fantastic, isn't she! Yes that stumbling along feeling will resonate with so many, I'm sure. Love your comment and hope you write more about it xx
Yes! So here for this conversation.
The hustle/ patriarchal view on business doesn’t nourish mothers. I feel like this is where intuitive business has a role as it melts around us and can be mothercentric
Nourishment is at the bottom of the list (but we're expected to nourish everyone else?) xx
I love this Kat.
Totally agree and then of course there is also looking good, keeping fit, being a good friend, doing crafts with your kids, cooking healthy food....
I thought I'd have more time when my kids started at school but now by oldest isn't able to go to school due to anxiety so my work schedule has shifted again...
I feel this all of this!! So much pressure— (I blame social media honestly for a lot of that lol)…. and yes even with kids in school there are things that come up and we need to pivot from what we had planned! I am
Personally learning that’s all I can do, is attempt to flow with the circumstances around me.. I tend to fight against and it causes none of us good..
yes social media has a lot to answer for...though ultimately I LOVE it and love the friends and connections I've made here xx
I think there needs to be a huge acknowledgement from the creators of social media around the harm that it can cause, the studies coming out around children/teens are alarming, as are the reports of much more available data supporting this that is being covered up. Maybe then there is a way to learn from this and build on the good that social media brings that Laura so rightly mentions, however I am fearful that money driven society is going to struggle to make the needed shift.
agree so much!
I definitely don't have more time now the big 2 are at school, and neither do my clients... thanks so much for sharing Faith xx
It sometimes feels like just when you think you have carved our that extra time something comes along and snatches it away again, I am certainly feeling that at the moment.
Yes there are always things looking to claim that gap. We need to defend fiercely the time we have set aside.
Oooooof feeling the fire in this one lovely! Thank you for mentioning me alongside other incredible women... I love that you are raising this topic as an perspective on all of this. Because it’s so complex and yet the narratives we are sold or told can be so dehumanising and make us feel like a failure. Celebrating you and every other Mother who is following their heart work alongside children of any age, in whatever way they can. Xxx
Yes it’s that depersonalisation and dehumanisation of it you’re absolutely spot on. And yes, let’s also celebrate the magic women who are just trying their best and let’s shout for more support! And now time for a shower 😂 xxx
Corrrrrr this one has rung very true. I admire creators and creatives who are open and honest about how much support they do or don’t have, because it’s so easy to think ‘HOW are they managing to do all this and also be a present parent??’ My partner and I were speaking about work recently and the fact that it isn’t possible for the majority of people (us included) to run a house on one income, yet--usually mothers--are the ones who are expected to do the juggling of house/children/work. I don’t say ‘expected’ to imply that men expect it, but the government certainly does. Le sigh.
the government definitely does. And even when we get 15 free hours when my toddler turns too because I insist on paying our nanny £14 an hour it will cover about 5 "free" hours I think... but yes, we need to keep talking VERY LOUDLY about this I think xx
Hey Laura, gosh you sound so much like me and the conversations I have with biz pals and clients! I love this post, I can feel the energy coursing through it!
I’m absolutely sick of anyone telling anyone else HOW to live their lives, set up their business, how to juggle and especially doing this without DEEPLY knowing that individual - we are all so unique, so are our children, and when we learn how to trust ourselves, instead of the ‘experts’, it all gets sooooo much easier.
OK, I’ll talk about having older kids...
So, I’m mum to an 18 year old, and I’ve had a business of my own since he was about 5, back then alongside a full time job... I was doing it to ‘prove’ myself, but I also LOVED it so much, it sucked me in, and I know there were plenty times he didn’t get my full attention BUT he was, and still is, super chilled and happy doing his own thing (I recently found out he’s designed like this, thank goodness!) and I also didn’t push him into all the after-school clubs and hobbies that he didn’t want to do anyway; I saw a lot of this in the mums around me; in his friendship group it was the mums who chose how busy their kids (and therefore the taxi schedule) should be. I’m not judging, its just what I saw.
As he’s got older he’s learned what it looks like to ‘work from home’ - ie I’m not ignoring him, I’m at work - and we talk a lot about what ‘work’ can look like, especially passive income as he’s not an energy-type like me. So I do have a strong focus on work, but when we’re together I’m all in, with him, and I focus on him if he wants to talk between calls or after work, just as if I had a job, because he doesn’t often come to talk to me much, but when he does it’s brilliant. Since he was quite small I’ve been clear I can’t be there with him all the time - but I always worked school hours only in my ‘job’ and have always dropped everything when he’s been needed me or been poorly, telling him and showing him that he comes first in my heart.
So maybe I’m just lucky, or maybe I’ve been trusting what he needs at each age - have I got it all right? Definitely not. I wish I’d trained earlier as a coach and learned all the behaviours / developmental stuff when he was younger... but I still wouldn’t change very much. What I HAVE focused on each year is ‘what does he need from me at this age, and what do I need from him?’ as well as “what do I need, and what does my business need?” - acceptance of time and energy limitations has been key, and it’s been ever-evolving, including boundaries, now they focus on when I can be a taxi driver and when I won’t (and how quickly he has to pass his driving test now he’s working!), what he has to contribute to the smooth running of the house, and how he affects and is part of the family dynamic.
One thing I do know, is that it’s joyful seeing him at 18, confident enough to go travelling for weeks without me (he’s in Rome just now) but flipping heck, it’s only been about 5 minutes since he was eight years old snuggled up on my knee.... it goes fast. I’ll always have my business right here in my home, to grow slowly or fast, or change altogether, but I know I can’t say that of my precious boy...
That was longer than I expected, wasn’t quite sure where I was going and got a bit lost in remembering... phew! xx
Sarah this is such a beautiful, profound comment. You should copy and paste a lot of it and turn it into a post for SURE!!! I love this bit: "As he’s got older he’s learned what it looks like to ‘work from home’ - ie I’m not ignoring him, I’m at work - and we talk a lot about what ‘work’ can look like, especially passive income as he’s not an energy-type like me. So I do have a strong focus on work, but when we’re together I’m all in, with him, and I focus on him if he wants to talk between calls or after work, just as if I had a job, because he doesn’t often come to talk to me much, but when he does it’s brilliant."
xxx
Aw thank you love, gosh I didn't realise how much I'd written as I was on my phone, just at my laptop now and thinking, wow, I had a lot to say!
I think it's a brilliant subject and not one with just one answer, so lots of voices, ideas and encouragement to experiment is what we need, for us, and for so many other mums too, wondering how to get it 'right' (there is no right) - love that you opened this conversation! xxx
I love this Sarah and like Laura I love the part where you talk about the moments with your son where you are 'all in' this is something that I encourage with many of th families I support, finding those moments where you can be all in , to properly refill their mummy tank and feel taken into consideration no mater how busy life is around that. It can be such a powerful took for connection and replenishing.
Wow, yes when we use parenting as a real present-moment thing it's powerful. We just don't get that time back! Skimming the surface of it is almost always going to lead to regret... I would definitely be even more 'all in' if I went back, less distracted and more appreciative of the time with him. And I'd still work and give him the experience of socialising, and learning to thrive for himself, as well as loving our time together.
Its so important for mothers to see conversations like this, they often act as a reminder of things that we already know an prompt us to reassess and look at ways to be more present once again, however society and life has a way of slowing tugging us away again so the more little reminders there are the better!
Yes to the reminders! This is exactly why we need to be in a circle of women! ✨🙌
Laura, THANK YOU!
I'm exhausted. This season of my life is impossible. Each 'thing' I do is a job in itself - parenting, cleaning, cooking, life admin, house repairs and working. It is why we have cleaners, VA's and tradespeople to do these things. We're not supposed to do EVERYTHING on our own. But, for various reasons, we do. There is no one else for us (my husband and I) to lean on, it literally is just us, and we're doing the best we can with the time, money and energy we have.
In an ideal world, I'd have the childcare I need. I'd be able to work uninterrupted on those days, and then spend my days off being a parent to William. The systems are so broken though, and I don't have it as bad some, I know that. But, my goodness, it is tough right now.
Thank you for not running for the hills when I ghosted you and tried to 'fix' things on my own. If my post has taught me anything, is that I need to reach out more. I need the support. I can't get it physically, but I have it in abundance virtually. You're such a treasure, and I'm so incredibly lucky to have you in my corner 🥰
oh Sophie this season is exhausting and you ARE a treasure xx
I have a long history of struggling with these impetuous messages about building a successful business in the margins of motherhood (since 2010 honestly). They have often made me feel inferior and have fed into my own burn out and ranting negative self talk.
So I appreciate and applaud you for calling it out in the way you have. We definitely need more realistic examples and expectations of what is possible during various seasons and scenarios of motherhood and entrepreneurship.
I’ve gone through several semi-successful seasons of entrepreneurship while attempting a variety of different businesses during motherhood - all while primarily staying home to raise my two kids. I was a freelance muralist, photographer, graphic designer, website designer, interior designer, product designer, blogger, and writer. And I almost became a holistic design course creator and author - but I became too overwhelmed to follow through with that plan while also helping my husband build a multi-six figure electrical contracting company.
Building my own business has been slow, difficult, and harder than I ever imagined, however. And I still can’t say that I’ve actually been successful at it. Or that I even know what kind of business I want any more!
I can say I have successfully grown two amazing kids, though! (ages 17 and 25) And I have thoroughly enjoyed every moment of their growth and development! I’ve also had to do this with very limited support (because I don’t have much family and my husband is always gone working).
So I became everyone’s #1 support system and have had next to no one in my corner offering support. It’s made business growth slow and confusing as I struggle to manage my energy and capacity for creative work.
Now that my kids are mostly grown I know my time is becoming more of my own for the first time ever. But I unexpectedly fell into a liminal season of mourning what is changing as I explore who I’m becoming and whether or not there will be a different business in my future.
What I will say - I’m glad I didn’t grow my past businesses into such a success that it would have distracted me from my children. Yes, I was impatient and had big dreams - but I was never willing to trade my ability to be present for my kids in exchange for the dreams I thought I wanted. Because I was highly aware of my time with them being temporary.
I really wish there were more stories of trial and error attempts/ slow growth/ and later in life women/mother entrepreneurs trying to figure it out. (Maybe this is what I need to write about more on my own Substack?) Because I just couldn’t do it all when I was in that phase of young motherhood. Now, after 25 years of mothering, I find I have some deep healing to do to recoup my energy and confidence before I’m ready to try entrepreneurship again.
Um, you absolutely do need to write about this on your Substack (if you'd like to, Darcey). I've read it about three times and I love it! This had me nodding a LOT "So I became everyone’s #1 support system and have had next to no one in my corner offering support. It’s made business growth slow and confusing as I struggle to manage my energy and capacity for creative work."xx
Thank you Laura for saying all of this and speaking to so much of what I am feeling, often a failure for being slow to create the career I both aspire to have (and one I feel the societal pressure to have) whilst being so consumed by early motherhood and being ‘just’ a mum (who also writes and creates in any space I get!) Thank you for the support and reassurance about the slow-forming, feeling it out way of creating business. Your words are fire that have inspired a shift in my view from here xx
urgh and sometimes isn't it so hard to hear if the inner whisper wants that career because YOU want it or because you feel you SHOULD have it. Also, that final sentence, can I quote you please because it made me feel very proud of myself!! xx
Oh good, yes absolutely! xx
Such important work. The words, the invitation, the way of being embodied in all of this. Beautiful words Laura and I’m just so glad we have Company of Two together - our slow grow community for mothers who want to figure it all out too, alongside us, with us and for us. ✨💖✨
I'm so glad I walk life alongside you my pal xx
Great article Laura and thanks for the mention ❤️ it’s saddening the pressures and unrealistic expectations that are put on mothers - and couldn’t agree more with how incredibly toxic the “quick fix big bucks” speech is!
I just saw your comment around passive income on a note and thought I’d add my reflections here instead as more might find value : I love these conversations as they open for questions that we may not have thought about before. Different businesses lend themselves well to different structures, I’m fortunate that I’ve been able to create a split between products and services, where services are very difficult to “passify” soulfully (I absolutely agree with you Laura ❤️❤️) whereas digital products (in my case pattern downloads for embroidery designs, which my clients don’t want me to be involved in anyhow!) naturally grow into a passive archive if the marketing structures are set up well (read: long term shelf life such as Pinterest boards and email marketing).
Another example (relevant for this space) is book sales/royalties.
Now I don’t believe there’s anything that is truly passive because you have to do the job at some point up front - but if we are able to create a healthy balance between long term effort and short term effort, perhaps it can create more stability for the seasons when life simply won’t allow you to work. I’ve had many 2 hrs work/weeks in the past 2 years (just enough for admin mostly) and my revenue has remained relatively stable.
There’s no quick or easy fix for anything in life, and the fact that mothers are pushed to believe so in the most trying times is beyond comprehension!!
Fantastic work Laura and I salute you for the important work you do in this space ❤️👏🥰 grateful to have connected! xx
So much to say in response and going to write a big article about passive income at
Some point - will definitely quote you a lot and we should collaborate at some point g x x x
Yes would be great fun to do a collab piece, just give me a shout when you’re ready and I’ll gladly see if I can provide some value ❤️❤️
ok fab, is your email address in your links? xx
Laura this is so beautifully written and I know that you know how much it resonates with what I stand for as a parent and a professional. When did society forget that mothers are doing this most precious work, need to be championed, celebrated, supported and cherished. How can we possibly raise generations of kind, empathetic, compassionate, curious, adventurious, human beings if mothers are constantly on the edge of burn out and battling with 'not good enough' feelings. Something has to give... However here we are, a group of mothers (at least it seems those commenting on the post) doing just that, striving to raise our children to be all of these things in spite of the huge pressures that we are under, in spite of never feeling enough. Maybe we can , for a moment, creep into our children's bedroom (big or small) whislt they are sleeping soundly and revel in what an amazing job we are doing. And be grateful that people like yourself Laura are championing us and calling for change.. you are very much appreciated. xx
My children are 13 and 15 and I don't often see stuff about mothers in business who have children this age and the themes are different. I still very much work a day job as I've never managed to grow my business enough as a mother. I found it too hard when they were younger and so now feels like my time to grow at last. Yes I do have more space but I'm also much more aware of how little time left of their childhood there is. That's where the mother guilt creeps in
LOVE THIS 🙌 As a new mama trying to work this whole thing out, I really appreciate your gracious approach and the space you make for those of us not getting it all done, not ok with it, but not able to change it right now. I’m learning that I just can’t get it all done and that’s ok: my laundry basket may never be empty and my house never totally clean (part of the one room a day crew!), but that gives me time to write and spend with my little boy 🥰 and for me, those are my priorities right now 🥰